Sunday, 28 August 2016

Tonight I Can Write The Saddest Lines

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example,'The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me sometimes, and I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. Like my kisses before.
Her voice. Her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.

Tuesday, 14 April 2015


Sometimes we just don't know how to be tamed...

Confidence is my name, arrogance is not something to title me

But your jealousy, I can see clearly.

Sometimes we just don't know how to be tamed...

Words are exact, properly pronounced~it irritates you

But you still remain present. Why?

You must find me quite beguiling to stare so intently.

Because my confidence, my head held high.

Every step that's been made, and because you're curious to know

I'll tell you, why I can't be tamed.


© Evangile Hayden Neruda

Saturday, 7 March 2015

Tango Whore

I whored myself for tango this week.

I hadn't been in a man's arms for over a year.

I knew I'd lost the tango. I'd lost the walk, embrace, music, the look. My absolute submisson.

And I knew that if I visited my own beloved milongas it would be a disaster.

Uncomfortable insincere encounters. Attempts at intimate embraces sullied by my mind racing elsewhere, my heart distracted. I'd reveal my insincerity for all the watchers.

But I was desperate. I had to practise. On someone.

I'd have to darken my heart. Put on my mask. Drug my soul. And find a milonga to use for my selfish objectives. To find innocent lovers I'd abuse. Fool them with my insincere tango. Steal from their unsuspecting generosity. Sorta cute.

And I found a place. In a horrible corner of London. A queasy place, with poor sods who knew no better. Conned by their teachers. Or were these teachers as deluded as them? But I didn't care. I was there to use their space. Their bodies. Their music.

I shut away my Madonna and stepped onto that floor. And took these men.

I walked out of that hot sweaty steamy hole into the cold fresh night. Feeling a strong pang of guilt and sorrow for the innocent sods I'd abused. But strangely powerful - that I'd taken my first step out of the tango pit, back on the ascent back to tango.

My pure tango. My tango puro. Do all pure tangueros carry this stain?

This week I whored myself for tango. And I whored the tango for myself.

Monday, 13 October 2014

The Mind

Moderntanguera points to a great video explaining how different mindsets lead to different tango dynamics - good and bad.

The problems are overcome by technique, sure, but the root cause is mindset.

Which does of course mean that if you're particularly distracted on an evening, you can't really connect and dance, and a good partner will detect it.

That's not a disadvantage. That is the beauty of tango.

A great video:

Friday, 26 September 2014

Tango Elite

I've been told that Negracha in London is where the elite of the tango world go.

Thursday, 28 August 2014

Cabeceo: Another Look

Tango Addiction has a good post on the cabeceo: Cabeceo: A user’s guide. The blog itself is recommended reading.

And don't forget a classic article from Tango & Chaos: The “Cabeceo”

Original Image from Tango & Chaos

Tuesday, 15 July 2014


I've said it before, and I'll say it again.

Put a jacket on. Or at least a sleeved shirt.

I don't want your sweaty skin on me, on my clothes, or anywhere near me.

Don't spoil my evening.

I want these warm summer nights to be bliss.